45. Passenger Post: Re Miss Jane Marple

My dearest R––––––

With regard to Miss Jane Maple,

No need to worry any more about the old geriatric in cabin 6.  Plummer came through. After all, what was an old lady, traveling alone – with absolutely no link to the policing authorities – realistically going to achieve? Why she suddenly took it into her head to announce that there was a murderer on board and that she knew who the culprit was, I have no idea.

She called us all to the Billiard Room and made some pretty sensational allegations.

Reverend Plummer was particularly aghast when her ‘deductive monologue’ revealed that he had been outside the windowed doors to the Vesuvius Bar when Michaelson was killed with a flare gun. Had powder burns on his smalls, apparently.

Unfortunately for her, the old besom then went on to deduce everyone else in the room had murdered at least fifteen innocent passengers between them – and said those very words out loud! She was right, of course, but what a palaver!

Thankfully, Plummer soon got with the game when he realised he had the old lady’s card. He gave her a short, sharp stab with a syringe, while pretending to throw himself on her mercy, and then – of the count of old ladies – there were none…

Case closed and dumped overboard, weighted with a few stones out of ballast. Guards, cameras – didn’t see a thing.

Anyway, no hard feelings, my dear R–––––, but I do believe I have your card next,


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