Ms. Isabelle Canning, Restaurant Manager, to Mr. Levick, Head of Security –
Really, Mr. Levick – while I might expect the lower classes to thieve the ship’s table-ware, like silver-starved magpies, I am now distressed to discover that the so-called ‘upper classes’ are to be found just as wanting! Most of our fish knives, steak knives, and at least three carving knives have gone missing from the Santorini Restaurant on Deck B. You know the ones – the lovely ones, with mother-of-pearl handles and crossed inlay of fishes.
I must also protest, that Mr. Fingle’s ‘solution’ of placing a security guard in the lounge is neither doing anything to deter such blatant ‘Faganism’ nor enliven the ambiance, and the ‘ever-present elbow of the law’ is often getting in the way of serving the pickled mutton.
Yours, awaiting your prompt, remedial action in this matter,
Ms. I. Canning.